And Then Comes… by Syrenslure

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'First comes love; then comes marriage; then comes baby with the baby carriage'.

The cute little children's rhyme doesn't say anything about what happens when your husband is shot and killed before your baby ever gets there, and you are suddenly holding that baby carriage on your own. You're a single mom with no family, and few friends “ that you can't stand to be around, because they remind you too much of your dead husband “ and the only job you've ever wanted to do is the same one that took your husband away from you. There are no sing-song pleasantries for loss, and death, and loneliness.

What would you do if you weren't a cop? There was nothing else you imagined that you could do, could be. You liked your job, and you were good at it. It wasn't like you were going to hang up your badge and start selling real estate. Since you were seven years old, and you watched the cops work their way through the apartment where your father died, the way they were so nice to you - especially the one that would come check on you every few months for the first few years, the one who helped you get settled with the Lance's - other than a few moments of teenaged rebellion, this was all you ever wanted.

Except, you wanted a family - a husband and a baby, too. You wanted Chris.

Maybe, you just weren't meant to get what you want.