Harry stood up and stretched, trying to ease the aching muscles of his lower back. He raised his arms over his head and lifted his chin, squinting into the midday sun. His brief cutoff shorts threatened to slip further down on his hips and rivulets of sweat ghosted their way down his sun bronzed body.
He enjoyed tending the garden behind this small cottage. It was similar to the chores he used to perform for his Aunt at her home in Little Whinging, but this was for him alone - well, him and his two housemates.
He lived with his godfather, Sirius Black and his godfather's best friend, Remus Lupin. They were collectively considered three of the most handsome, eligible bachelors of the Wizarding world. Of course, their actual eligibility was a thing of debate. All three had played a large part in the downfall of the Dark Lord, Voldemort, at the beginning of the summer, just before Harry's graduation from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry, himself, had struck the final, killing blow against his archrival, but he would be the first to admit that he had not acted alone.
Sirius and Remus had both been a part of The Order of the Phoenix, a covert resistance organization, made up of wizards and witches dedicated to protecting the Wizarding world from the machinations of the Dark Lord. That they had succeeded was a matter of much celebration. It was also the catalyst for them taking a much-needed vacation.
They had decided to buy a small three-room cottage in Southern England, to get away for a while. Very few people knew where they were, and they could all apparate anywhere they wanted to go, should the need or desire arise. Mostly, they all stayed here, enjoying the quiet and sunshine and the small private lake, nestled in the trees at the edge of the property.
Harry tended the garden. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do now that the war was over, but despite his welcome vacation, he wasn't the type to remain idle. He enjoyed the physical demands of his task, the rich earth and fresh air. He took great pleasure in watching his plants flourish, bloom and give fruit to his labours. It was tangible and real, and even in a world of magic, was evidence of one of the greatest mysteries - life.
Remus spent his days reading and writing a new set of Defense Against the Dark Arts texts for Hogwarts. He had written several books over the years, under a pseudonym, and Dumbledore convinced him to undertake this much-needed task in the wake of the war. There were still few opportunities for a werewolf in the Wizarding world. Remus may have gained some acceptance for himself, but prejudice ran deep against "dark creatures" in their society.
Harry served as his sounding board and assistant, having recently completed both his Hogwarts education and battle against the Dark, and as such, was very aware of the lacking aspects of the current curriculum. His input as advisor, in addition to Dumbledore's influence had convinced the publisher to grant Remus the contract.
As Harry noted the time, he realized that Remus would have lunch ready soon, so he began gathering his tools and returning them to the shed. Remus was the group's unofficial cook and caretaker. They all made it a point to eat meals together whenever they were all present. After lunch, Harry and Remus would work on the books, along with Sirius, if he wished.
Sirius stayed at the cottage the least of them all. After his years in Azkaban and his years as a fugitive, he valued his freedom dearly. He had wept with joy at his official pardon and Order of Merlin Second Class, a few months prior. He was their unofficial morale officer and made sure that they had fun and didn't get too lost in their studies. He was also quite the ladies' man, if is many excursions and tales of seduction were to be believed. Harry believed them. After all, he remembered the offers he had been inundated with for years, but especially after the war.
He had even accepted a few, but while he wasn't picky about the gender of his partner, he was picky about what they represented. Endless carnal flings really weren't his kind of thing. He was a homebody. Good friends, a home, and his garden were his greatest wishes, and perhaps someone with which to share them. That was all that he lacked now, but he was comfortable and happy with Remus and Sirius. He thought that the rest would come in time. That was what he told himself when the loneliness and longing threatened to overwhelm him. He was still young. His eighteenth birthday was a few days away.
Life, overall, was good. After all, he was still alive, and many days he counted that as a blessing beyond all others. He was almost eighteen and had lived to see adulthood. Many times that had been in question, but no longer, thanks in part to the two men with whom he shared his home and his life. With this thought, he grabbed a few ripe tomatoes off of the vine and carried them into the house for Remus, as he went in to wash up for lunch.
Lunch was a comfortable affair. They weren't up for a heavy meal in the late July heat. They had thinly sliced roast, left from the previous evenings meal, chunks of cheese and thick slices of the tomatoes Harry had picked earlier. They washed it down with chilled pumpkin juice.
The conversation was sporadic and light-hearted. Business was banned from the dinner table by mutual agreement. Instead, they heard about Sirius' nighttime escapades; various jokes and mutual teasing were rampant.
Afterwards, they grabbed a pitcher of juice and retired to the study. Inside was a ceiling fan, which twisted lazily as the cottage's lone concession to the heat. Remus grabbed a scroll and quill and settled into his favorite overstuffed chair. The arms were a little threadbare and the wooden legs were scuffed and scratched. Despite its shabby appearance, it was quite comfortable and suited the slight man well.
Harry stretched his tall frame out across the couch, his head and ankles resting on opposite ends. He laced is fingers behind his neck and watched the fan stir the air. "So what are you working on today?"
"Dark creatures - vampires, werewolves."
"A subject after your own heart, eh, Moony?" Sirius interjected from across the room, where he was playing solitaire, with half an ear for their conversations.
Remus gave him a mock scowl. "I doubt it matters much. There is so much misinformation, anyway. Even if they see the truth in print, they are unlikely to believe it. While the dark creatures are wild and dangerous, no one wants to hear about them as productive and even necessary members of Wizarding Society. People prefer their romantic and draconian images of feral creatures. Wizards aren't much better than muggles at wanting their boogiemen."
"So what are you going to tell them?" Harry asked.
"Well, for one thing there is a huge misconception that there are large unified packs roaming the world. Werewolves are very solitary and distrustful creatures. They are likely to shun other werewolves as well as humans. They seldom seek out or attack people, unless provoked, even in a semi-feral state.
"That's not to say that they won't attack if someone invades their territory, or threatens someone that they care about. It is seen as a natural response to a threat. They have much the same instincts as other wild creatures - to feed, to mate. When they do form family groups, they are very protective of the members of their pack.
"And though it isn't widely available, the Wolfsbane potion can help to control even those impulses. I hope that if more people know about the Wolfsbane potion that more research might be done and that it might be more readily available. Severus is one of the few people working on it, and by himself he has made several improvements upon it. Of course, then people would have to recognize that werewolves are still a large part human.
"That just doesn't fit most people's paradigm. It all comes back to fear - and profit. There is a large black market for werewolves - skins, teeth, even the werewolves themselves. Some people even hunt them for sport. Little thought is given to the fact that they are wizards and witches the other 26 days of each lunar cycle. They can be productive members of society and have relationships and families."
"You mention families, what about mates?" Harry asked curiously.
Sirius had to choke back a laugh, as Remus squirmed, and considered how to answer. "It is difficult to find a mate because humans are at risk during that time of the month. There is an almost overwhelming urge to mark and claim one's mate. Sometimes, they are turned. I have no desire to inflict this curse on anyone else."
"But you said that the Wolfsbane potion helps control your instincts. You retain your human mind and awareness. Wouldn't that be a part of it"?
"Yes, I suppose so. Still, nothing is perfect and I would loathe to ask anyone else to take that risk. Besides, it isn't an easy thing to be a werewolf's mate. We are very possessive and territorial."
"So werewolves really do mate for life?" Harry asked curiously.
Remus took a sip of his drink and cleared his throat, while Sirius continued to try and hide his amusement at the conversation. "Well, yes, for all practical purposes, I suppose they do. They can have more than one mate in a lifetime, and can try to override their instincts, but it is unlikely."
"You don't have a mate. Does that mean that you've never been with anyone?"
"No. I've been a werewolf since childhood, and even the Wolfsbane has only been a recent innovation. It sort of put a damper on the sort of wild experimentation that most teens indulge in."
Harry blushed as he considered some of his own exploits. "But what's stopping you now? You could find someone. Not everyone would be put off by the werewolf thing. I mean, look at us. We are around you all of the time. You take the potion, and with our animagus forms, we can protect ourselves if something did happen. You shouldn't be alone forever."
"As you said, I'm not alone. I have you and Sirius and good friends."
"That's not really the same thing, though. Is it?" Harry couldn't help but compare his own feelings and his earlier thoughts about wanting someone to share his life with. Werewolf, or not, Remus was one of the best men that he knew, and if he couldn't find someone to love him, what hope did Harry have. He may not be cursed, but being "The Boy Who Lived" wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Later that night, Harry lay in his bed, unable to fall asleep. He kept playing the day's conversations over and over in his head. He thought about himself, Remus and even Sirius. They were all alone. Yes, they had each other, and he wouldn't give that up for anything. Was this all they would ever have? Was it enough?
He soon fell into a restless sleep, but that was not the end of his ruminations. He worried the topic over and over in his mind for days. He was feeling a bit melancholy and admitted to himself that he was lonely.
He didn't know that his companions had noticed his preoccupation. While they all accepted each other's moods, Remus and Sirius were worried about this shift in Harry. Sirius suggested that Harry needed to get out and about for a bit. He was probably just suffering a little cabin fever, and his birthday was that weekend. Hopefully, the party they had planned for him would help.
Harry was thinking of his birthday as well, as he lay in bed that night, as he had for each of the last few nights. He had been feeling sorry for himself. He didn't want to do that anymore. There was a new problem on his mind.
Sometime over the last few days something had changed. It began with the realization that while he was lonely, he couldn't imagine himself anywhere else. He couldn't picture himself without Sirius and Remus - arguing about whose turn it was to wash up after meals, trying to share the cottage's one bathroom, playing games and having their daily discussions in the study.
He didn't want to dwell on what that meant for him, or the way Remus had occupied his thoughts, both waking and asleep since their conversation about werewolves and mating. The thoughts had ended up entwined in his head - Remus, mate, lover, partner. It made him edgy, because he couldn't let on what he was thinking. Remus wouldn't think of him like that, and Sirius would tease him about his "crush." Neither would mean to be hurtful, but they wouldn't take him seriously. Even though he was turning eighteen this weekend, in some ways, they still treated him like a child.
He was resolved to keep it to himself. Maybe he would talk to Ron at his party. He and Hermione were should to be there, along with his other friends. It was sure to be a blast, as Sirius was planning it, with assistance from Dumbledore. Fred and George had already warned him that they were looking forward to it. The thought made him smile for the first time in days.
Saturday night, he wasn't as confident. He dressed carefully for the party in tight black slacks and a sleeveless mesh shirt that Sirius had bought him for one of their nights out. His skin had a nice sun-kissed tan from his days in the garden that highlighted his lean, muscular frame well. He wore his contacts, that he kept for occasional wear and did his best to tame his unruly, dark hair. He knew he looked pretty good, but his stomach was still tied up in knots. Even after all of this time, he didn't care for crowds too much.
He took a deep breath and reminded himself that these were his friends and that he was going to have a good time. He left his room, almost convinced, until he ran straight into Remus, who was exiting the bathroom. Quick reflexes caused them to grab for each other. Harry tried to laugh at their clumsiness, but the sound was choked, as he watched a bead of water drip down Remus' neck, from his wet hair, to the collar of his dressing gown. Harry tightened his hold on Remus, reflexively.
"Are you alright, Harry?" Remus asked in concern.
Harry lifted his gaze, to meet Remus' eyes and pasted on a shaky smile, trying to ignore the fact that Remus was in his arms and wearing only a bathrobe. "Yeah, I'm fine. Guess this hall just isn't big enough for the both of us."
Remus wrinkled his brow, but then smiled. "Okay. Now, go try to keep your godfather out of trouble while I finish getting ready. I'll just be a few minutes."
Remus was true to his word and they soon left the cottage to apparate to Hogsmeade. As they neared the Three Broomsticks, where the party was being held, they could already hear the raucous sounds of a party in progress. Laughter and music drifted out to the streets, and the door held a sign that said "Closed for Private Party." The three of them entered and the crowd turned and yelled, "Happy Birthday, Harry!"
Harry never did get a chance to talk to Ron; no one would leave the birthday boy alone long enough for him to find the privacy he needed. Harry shrugged it off, and resolved to talk to him tomorrow. They had rooms reserved for the night, as the cottage wasn't on the floo network, and they didn't want to worry about apparating with the amount of alcohol that was flowing around the room.
He was having a good time. He danced with several people, guys and girls. It seemed he could barely get off the dance floor, before someone would pull him back on. It was fun and he was finally taking a break to drink another glass of punch when he saw Remus sitting in a corner booth by himself. He crossed the room to him, only pausing to smile and promise Ginny another dance later, when she tried to intercept him.
"So, are going to sit here all night? How about dancing with the birthday boy?" Harry flashed his most charming smile and ignored the voice in his head that was telling him to be careful. The alcohol he had imbibed was helping to quell that voice.
"I'm fine, Harry. It's a good party. I'm sure that you can find someone else to dance with."
"Sure, but I want to dance with you. Come on, it's my birthday; you can't say no."
"Of course not," Remus acquiesced and rose from his seat. "Lead the way."
They faced each other on the dance floor just as a slow song began. Harry leaned in and held Remus as close as he dared, laying his arms across Remus' shoulders and began swaying to the beat. Remus was tense for a moment, but relaxed and placed his hands on Harry's hips. They swayed together, each lost in his own thoughts. At the end of the song, Harry released his companion with a sigh and a smile.
"Thanks."
"Any time."
Shortly after, the cake was brought out, and after a tuneless rendition of Happy Birthday, he blew out the candles. He endured teasing about being an old man now, started by the Weasely twins and smiled happily. Ron tossed him a present and he caught it. He began opening his gifts, as Hermione started passing out pieces of the elaborate cake.
The party lasted well into the night, and at past one showed little sign of slowing down. Harry made his way to the bathroom, the alcohol he had been drinking working through his system. He relived himself and turned to run into Remus for the second time that night.
Remus laughed. "We've got to stop meeting like this."
"Yeah, " Harry replied, but it came out as an almost breathless sigh.
Remus leaned back to look at him. "Are you alright?"
"Fine, just...." No longer thinking beyond the man in front of him, Harry leaned in and pressed his lips to Remus'.
The kiss lasted only a second before Remus grabbed his shoulders and gently pushed him away. "Harry..."
"Don't. Just don't, okay. Please, not tonight. Don't say no, Remus."
"Harry, you're drunk."
Harry shrugged. "Maybe, but that doesn't change how I feel about you, only what I am willing to do about it."
Remus had a pained expression on his face. "You don't know what you're saying."
"Damn it, Remus. I'm not a child. Don't treat me one. I know what I am saying, and I know what I am doing." He traced his fingers down the side of Remus' face and across his jaw. "I want you. I want to kiss you and touch you and make love to you, and its not the alcohol, or the party, or the circumstances talking, just me."
"We can't do this, Harry."
"Yes. We can. If you want me. Do you Remus? Do you want me?"
"Harry..."
Harry leaned in and kissed him again, interrupting the older man's justifications. He didn't want to hear them. He deepened the kiss and felt Remus respond to him. His heart leapt in his chest and his groin tightened.
They broke the kiss and Remus whispered, "Harry..."
Harry leaned in to rest his forehead against Remus' and replied with a whispered, "Please..."
Remus reached up to pull him into another kiss.
This time when they pulled back, Harry could feel the other man's arousal against his own. He clasped Remus' hand in his own. "Come with me. Come back to my room. I want to make love to you. Tonight. Forever."
Remus nodded and followed the young man who was in his heart.
Sirius watched them, as they passed, mostly unnoticed, up the stairs, still holding hands. He raised his glass in silent tribute to the two of them and smiled. "Happy birthday, Harry."